Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I am Legend

You are not legend. You are fishy. And dear god did they lay it on thick near the end.

I didn't even particularly like the reggae message, I see people who follow Bob Marley around obsessively to be as misguided and slightly pathetic as fishies themselves. But at least Bob Marley didn't publicly tell people to hate, ever*, and wasn't fictional.

Just let me fix the tally....Bob Marley 2, Jesus 0.

You could tell it was going to lean that way when they started praying. Praying is of course something lots of people like to do. However, I do question the valitidy of taking a moment out of your schedule to pray when zombies are coming to get you and you're trying for an 'emergency evacuation'. It would seem a better idea to me to say a silent prayer in your head. Saves time, and I'm sure invisible sky-daddy can still hear you.

I really want to type: They then lull you back into a false sense of security. But that makes it sound like A: I was offended by a little prayer, which isn't true and B: I need a nice shiney tinfoil hat, which would be nice, but I know the Jeebus radio waves aren't seeping into my brain. Just the CIA's.

Regardless, you forget about the prayer. They lay on the Marley message, and you go: yeah, he was a nice man, shame about the dead thing. Never mind, carry on with the zombies please.
But then! God starts actively speaking to people! From nowhere! The most random, non-plot-sense-making thing ever.

Obviously, this film was taken from a book. And I am sure in the book this plot-twist made sense. I'm sure it was explained in-depth and that character background was added. In the movie however, a random lady and her son show up, start spouting about Jebus, and then God speaks (in a surprisingly girly voice) directly to Will Smith. The entire point of this being in the movie seems to be: God is great! Hurrah! And not, look, its like Noah's flood, but with viruses and....well I really can't fathom why the man needs God to save humanity considering he has the antidote to the virus. Surely thats enough?

And why is paradise a church compound full of armed militias? I thought that was Waco.

Oh, that made me mad. However, Will Smith's performance is nothing short of stunning, and the movie up until the end is fantastic. Good with bad. But Jeez that was bad.

And the worst bit? Because I am Legend did not suck ass but The Golden Compass did the fishies will now use this as an excuse to say people want fish! Never mind your Dawkins and Hitchens, they want warm, fuzzy comfort with the chance of always being saved.

Which is true. But come on people!

*I don't know that much about Bob Marley, so if he did call people to arms let me know, I will re-adjust the tally.

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