Spammers are really not trying anymore. Considering that there is now more information on 'me' available than ever before floating around the internet/government offices/whoever has those missing discs' head, they are very impersonal.
Take the one I received yesterday:
Sharon! Check out Goliath in my pants!
This raises a few questions. Firstly, who is Sharon? I'm not Sharon, Sharon has never been a pseudonym of mine so unless my ex-boyfriend's mother has been browsing through porn using my email address (she's Catholic, so this could be true) they've just picked a name out of a hat and hoped that those few people they reach who are called Sharon respond.
But even if my name was Sharon Goliath in my pants? Check out the Goliath, or Look! There's a Goliath. That makes some semblance of sense.
I say that, does anyone really have fantasies about Goliath? It must have been my ex-boyfriend's mother, only Catholics would be repressed enough to have fantasies involving mythical giants.
Assuming this isn't Catholic porn the only other mental image which is going through my head is of the spammers, those mysterious Nigerians huddled around a table saying: No one is falling for the dead uncle story anymore. What can we do? How can this be more effective? I KNOW! THE WEST! THEY LIKE CHRISTIANITY AND PORN! WHY NOT COMBINE THE TWO? Into one sentence for maximum efficiency of course.
Stupid fucking spam